Last year has been very challenging not only for me but for everyone else. It allowed me to spend so much time with myself. Although it could have been an opportunity to reflect on who I am as a person and give me time to grow, it was the opposite for me. It made me look at the tiniest flaws that I have and exist in my life, so I became insecure about a lot of things. As I did not really go out that much, I spent so much time scrolling on social media. I started comparing my appearance and my life to other people online. Although I know that what I see online is not everything, but it did not stop me from feeling this way.
The concept of a gratitude journal was not really new to me, I tried doing it before but it did not last more than 3 days and I forgot about it. when we first talked about the assignment, I thought it was a good opportunity to do it again and try to be more consistent. I had an old sketchbook that I did not use, so I turned it into a gratitude journal. I dedicated 10 minutes each morning to write in the journal, I did not really follow a specific format because I wanted it to be something to comfort me not a task or work that I have to do. I tried to listen to calming music while thinking of at least five things that I am grateful for every each day and write them down, sometimes I would write more than five and other times it was a struggle to even find those five things. I tried to come up with different things each day. The first week went great and I wrote every day in my journal. I wrote about how grateful I was for the main things in my life such as my family, my friends and my health. Sometimes we forget about how important the people who are around us are because they are always there. writing about how grateful I am for them and how they support me, made me appreciate them more and I tried to express that to them. It was awkward because I am not really used to expressing my emotions, but it was nice and it made them feel happier which made me feel happier. The following week, I tried to keep up with journaling, but it was hard because I was always busy and distracted by other things and journaling was not a priority to me at that point, so I would write 4 out of the 7 days and sometimes I would just write in it because I felt that I had to and I was not really feeling what I was writing down, so it lost its purpose. The weeks after that, I started to notice how anxious I was in the mornings whenever I did not write in the journal, so I decided to make it a priority each day to write and have those 10 minutes every morning for myself without thinking about anything else. It started to be a fun activity that I look forward to everyday. As I was trying to look for different things that I am grateful for each day, I started noticing the little things that I did not pay much attention to before such as having a rest after a hectic week or spending time watching Tv with my family.
Writing in my gratitude journal became an important part of my day that made me calmer, more grateful and it set me up for the day. Whenever any inconvenience happens, I always remember that it’s not the end of the world and that I have many other things that are good in my life. It’s normal to forget to do it, so whenever that happens I try to do it orally instead without writing it down. It is about making yourself feel good instead of feeling burdened by it.